Our little family

With only weeks until Matthew arrives, we decided to take some last pics of the three of us.

Due Date!

Right now it's 4:13 am and I am sitting here munching on cherios and blogging because I can't sleep. I woke up around 2 and after tossing and turning from side to side and listening to my husband snore and hearing my stomach growl and getting frustrated because I was having acid reflux, I finally gave up and got up. Now I feel much better, though I know I'll probably drag through tomorrow.

The good news is that at least I see the light at the end of the tunnel. A light that is fast approaching, I might add. At my OB appt yesterday I was scheduled for a c-section on April 28! I'm half excited and half apprehensive. Excited because that means only 3 more weeks of pregnancy and then I get to arrive at the hospital and poof! he'll be here! No exhausting laboring, no worries about something going wrong, and I can tell my family exactly when to arrive. Not bad for someone like me who loves to have a plan. On the other hand, having a second c-section almost completely knocks out my chances of ever having a normal birth experience, something I so badly want to do! And I know how difficult is it recovering from a cesarian. I have a horror of being cut on and this time I get to look forward to it for 3 weeks. Not fun at all!

Also, in case you were wondering, we've decided to stay at MCG for now. We've met all the surgeons and doctors that will be caring for us and we feel confident that this is the best place for now. Once Matthew's born and they have a better idea of how complex his situation is, they will help us evaluate again and see where the best possible place for care is.

So yeah, mixed feelings. But I know that God holds all of these details in his hand and I need to relax and trust that he is leading us. Every once in a while, when a doctor is explaining just how messed up Matthew's heart is, I'm tempted to throw up my hands and give in to despair. I think I'm more of a pessimist by nature and it's been hard for me to let myself hope. When I think of our little boy's future, I see a big blank and that scares me to death. Holding reality in one hand and hope in another is SUCH a difficult balance! As a Christian, I know that I serve a God of miracles who can fix this with one word, but as a worried and sinful mother, I just can't see how this story ends well.

All that to say, we would appreciate your prayers in the weeks to come! I am SO thankful for the body of Christ and your encouragement has really helped.

New Place!

Hopefully by now most of you know that we've moved across town and out into the country, into a basement apartment in Cole's parent's new house. Yep, that's right, we're officially country bumpkins and we've even got the guns and dogs to prove it! :) Nick and Dana actually did just buy a new black lab and named him Ruger (for those of you that don't know it, Ruger is a gun brand.) So now we've got three Rugers in the house: two are locked in the safe and one runs around delighting us with his puppy antics! 
We're lovin the new place and I'm lovin that I've got fun people upstairs to keep me company on days when Cole's gone! I'll post more pics later, but for now here are some of Claire and I out enjoying the beautiful, pollen-infested, spring weather. 

Our new house! Impressive huh?!

Haha, just kidding. This is the part we live in! 

The front belongs to Dana & Nick. We live in the basement :)

Claire making the trek up our longgggg driveway

Chillin in the driveway

More later!

Lazy mornings

Just a day in the life of a goofy little girl :)

Decisions, decisions....

Lately we've been feeling overwhelmed with the one big decision we get to make in regards to Matthew. Most of the things that will happen in the next few months will be out of our hands, but this first important step is entirely up to us, which leaves us feeling, well, hugely responsible for all the things that follow. The decision: WHERE TO GIVE BIRTH AND HAVE THE SURGERIES! It might not sound all that scary but we have two good options and we're busy sifting through information to help us decide. We'd appreciate your prayers! 

Beach Family

We spent last week at the beach with my family and although the weather wasn't great, we had fun playing games and catching up on college basketball! 

Claire got a haircut...

and well, let's just say that I got my money's worth :) I decided that the back of her head was looking mullet-ish, so I thought to myself, "How hard could it be? I'll just trim it up myself!" Easier said than done with a squirmy one year old. Now it looks, hmmm how shall I describe it, rather square??? Kind of like a bowl cut for a girl??? Yeah, that's about right. And I would have pictures to let you laugh at, but my husband has all of our cameras for the day. So I guess Claire gets out of this one with no lasting memories :)

Baby Boy has a name!

We've finally decided on a name for baby boy Nickell! Here's how it came about: we had previously decided that we wanted a junior, but couldn't agree on the name we would call him (Cole and I both have very strong opinions!) Then when we found out about his heart problems, we decided that we wanted to give him a name that really meant something. We know that we could be blessed with this child for years to come or we could only have him for a few months, but either way we want his name to always be a comfort to us, something that will point us back to the goodness of God. So Cole thought it would be great to find a name that literally means "God is good". However, in all of my name searches it appears that there aren't any names that actually mean "God is good" and any of the ones that come close are funky-straight-out-of-the-Old-Testament ones. But I did find that Cole's middle name, Matthew, means "Gift of God", so I've been jokingly referring to him as Matthew for a week or so, waiting for Cole to give it the thumbs up or down. A few days ago Cole had his arm over my stomach and the baby kicked suddenly and Cole said, "Hey, Matthew kicked me!" I looked at him and said, "Wait, what?! Seriously?" And he said, "Yep, Matthew it is!"

So, it turns out we will have a junior! Cole Matthew Nickell, Jr, and his name will always remind us that he is a gift in our lives, no matter what happens. I've found endless comfort in knowing that God has purposefully given us this little boy who's going to have all these problems and have to struggle to live, yes, but who's also going to show us how to love in a new way and trust in God in a new way.

I'm back!!

After taking the last week and a half off to move, we've arrived and I now have internet again! Woo hoo! (It's amazing how dependent I am on the Web.) Our new address is 1471 Herndon Dairy Road. Same city, same zip code. I was going to post pictures along with this blog, but it seems my husband has stolen the cameras for the day :( so you'll have to wait. Just wanted to let you know I haven't dropped off the face of the earth!

Top Ten Reasons I love Asheville!

1) I still feel like I'm coming home every time, no matter how many years I've been gone! And it's the only city besides Aiken where I don't need a GPS.

2) I still get excited every time I see the mountains suddenly burst into view as I cross the border.

3) Everywhere I go, there's a memory. If I'm up on the Parkway, there's that tree I fell off of and got a huge goose egg on my noggin'. If I'm downtown, there's that restaurant where I went on my first (and last) blind date :). Driving down Merrimon takes me back to high school when I was always going over to the Councell's house. Going out to Fairview brings back all those square dances where I'd get wayyyy too hyper. Going through Haw Creek... well, I know exactly how painful it is running up each of those hills! And of course, the Asheville Mall takes me back to my 14 year-old self that spent her money way to easily and needed someone to tell her to chill on the boy craziness :).

4) Even though I've had my own house for 3 years, I still refer to my parent's house as home. And I will never not love waking up to the smell of Dad's coffee brewing and his waffles cooking!

5) THE FALL! I think everyone in the south knows what Asheville's fall season looks like, so no need to elaborate there.

6) The water and the air. I'll explain: in Aiken I have wavy hair that takes hours to dry and straighten. In Asheville, I have straight hair that takes 5 mins to dry it and I'm ready to go. Humidity is my enemy and Asheville only has a few months where it's bad.

7) Haw Creek. I can't remember not living in this neighborhood and I love the memories I have here. I think it was the greatest place to grow up!

8) Downtown. People who are not natives get so confused about it. They're like, "Wait, I thought we were in the South? What's with all the hippies, earth nuts, and liberals?" Haha. It's such a combination of everything and that's what makes it so interesting!

9) Doc Chey's! Only the best Thai/Asian restaurant I've ever been to! If you're ever in Asheville, go there and get the Spicy Thai Shrimp Rolls for an appetizer and either Pad Thai or Low Mein for your entree. Ah-ma-zing!

10) My friends :). I still have a lot of high school friends in the area and it's always great catching up when we visit. There's just something irreplaceable about having friends who have known you your whole life and still tolerate and love you!